miss civilization(文明小姐)-第1部分
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MISS CIVILIZATION
MISS CIVILIZATION
A COMEDY IN ONE ACT
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MISS CIVILIZATION
PEOPLE IN THE PLAY
ALICE GARDNER： Daughter of James K。 Gardner； President of
the L。I。 & W。 Railroad
〃UNCLE〃 JOSEPH HATCH： Alias 〃Gentleman Joe〃
〃BRICK〃 MEAKIN： Alias 〃Reddy； the Kid〃
HARRY HAYES： Alias 〃Grand Stand〃 Harry
CAPTAIN LUCAS： Chief of Police
Policemen； Brakemen； Engineers
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SceneThe dining room in the country house of James K。 Gardner on
Long Island。 In the back wall is a double doorway opening into a hall。
A curtain divided in the middle hangs across the entrance。 On the wall
on either side of the doorway are two electric lights； and to the left is a
telephone。 Further to the left is a sideboard。 On it are set silver salvers；
candlesticks； and Christmas presents of silver。 They still are in the red
flannel bags in which they arrived。 In the left wall is a recessed window
hung with curtains。 Against the right wall is a buffet on which is set a
tea…caddy； toast…rack； and tea kettle。 Below the buffet a door opens into
the butler's pantry。 A dinner table stands well down the stage with a chair
at each end and on either side。 Two chairs are set against the back wall to
the right of the door。 The walls and windows are decorated with holly
and mistletoe and Christmas wreaths tied with bows of scarlet ribbon。
When the window is opened there is a view of falling snow。 At first the
room is in complete darkness。
The time is the day after Christmas； near midnight。
After the curtain rises； one hears the noise of a file scraping on iron。
It comes apparently from outside the house at a point distant from the
dining room。 The filing is repeated cautiously； with a wait between each
stroke； as though the person using the file had paused to listen。
Alice Gardner enters at centre； carrying a lighted candle in a silver
candlestick。 She wears a dressing gown； with swan's down around her
throat and at the edges of her sleeves。 Her feet are in bedroom slippers
topped with fur。 Her hair hangs down in a braid。 After listening
intently to the sound of the file； she places candle on sideboard and goes to
telephone。 She speaks in a whisper。
ALICE： Hello； Central。 Hello； Central。 （Impatiently） Wake up！
Wake up！ Is that you； Central？ Give me the station agent at Bedford
Junctionquick。 What？ I CAN'T speak louder。 Well； you MUST hear
me。 Give me the station agent at Bedford Junction。 No； there's always
a man there all night。 Hurry； please； hurry。 （There is a pause； during
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MISS CIVILIZATION
which the sound of the file grows louder。 Alice listens apprehensively。）
Hello； are you the station agent？ Good！ Listen！ I am Miss Gardner；
James K。 Gardner's daughter。 Yes； James K。 Gardner； the president of the
road。 This is his house。 My mother and I are here alone。 There are
three men trying to break in。 Yes； burglars； of course。 My mother is
very ill。 If they frighten her the shock mightmight be very serious。
Wake up the crew； and send the wrecking train hereat once。 Sendthe
crewofthe wrecking train herequick。 What？ Then fire up an
engine and get it here as fast as you can。
VOICE： （calling from second story） Alice！
ALICE： （at telephone） Yes； you have。 The up…track's clear until 〃52〃
comes along。 That's not until
VOICE： （Louder） Alice！
ALICE： （with dismay） Mother！ （At telephone） Hello； hold the wire。
Don't go away！ （Runs to curtains； parts them； and looks up as though
speaking to some one at top of stairs） Mother； why AREN'T you in bed？
VOICE： Is anything wrong； Alice？
ALICE： No； dear； no。 I just came down toget a book I forgot。
Please go back； dearest。
VOICE： I heard you moving about。 I thought you might be ill。
ALICE： No； dearest； but YOU'LL be very ill if you don't keep in bed。
Please； motherat once。 It's all right； it's all right。
VOICE： Yes； dear。 Good night。
ALICE： Good night； mother。 （Returns quickly to telephone） Hello！
Hello！ Stop the engine at the foot of our lawn。 Yes； yes； at the foot of
our lawn。 And when you have the house surrounded； when the men are
all around the house； blow three whistles so I'll know you're here。 What？
Oh； that's all right。 The burglars will be here。 I'LL see to that。 All
YOU have to do is to GET here。 If you don't you； you'll lose your job！
I say； if you don't； you'll lose your job； or I'm not the daughter of the
president of this road。 NOW； YOU JUMP！ Andwaithello （turns
from telephone） He's jumped。
（The file is now drawn harshly across the bolt of the window of the
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dining room； and a piece of wood snaps。 With an exclamation； Alice
blows out the candle and exits。 The shutters of the windows are opened；
admitting the faint glow of moonlight。 The window is raised and the ray
of a dark lantern is swept about the room。 HATCH appears at window
and puts one leg inside。 He is an elderly man wearing a mask which
hides the upper half of his face； a heavy overcoat； and a derby hat。 But
for the mask he might be mistaken for a respectable man of business。 A
pane of glass falls from the window and breaks on the sill。）
HATCH： （Speaking over his shoulder） Hush！ Be careful； can't you？
（He enters。 He is followed by 〃GRAND STAND〃 HARRY； a younger
man of sporting appearance。 He also wears a mask； and the brim of his
gray alpine hat is pulled over his eyes。 Around his throat he wears a
heavy silk muffler）。 It's all right。 Come on。 Hurry up； and close those
shutters。
HARRY： （to REDDY outside） Give me the bag； Reddy。
（REDDY appears at window。 He is dressed like a Bowery tough。
His face is blackened with burnt cork。 His hair is of a brilliant red。 He
wears an engineer's silk cap with visor。 To HARRY he passes a half…
filled canvas bag。 On his shoulder he carries another。 On entering he
slips and falls forward on the floor）。
HATCH： Confound you！
HARRY： Hush； you fool。
HATCH： Has he broken anything？
REDDY： （on floor； rubbing his head） I've broke my head。
HATCH： That's no loss。 Has he smashed that silver？
HARRY： （feeling in bag） It feels all right。
（HATCH cautiously parts curtains at centre and exits into hall。）
REDDY： （lifts bag） We got enough stuff in this bag already without
wasting time on ANOTHER house。
HARRY： Wasting time！ Time's money in THIS house。 Look at this
silver。 That's the beauty of working the night AFTER Christmas；
everybodys' presents is lying about loose； and everybody's too tired
celebrating to keep awake。 （Lifts silver loving cup） Look at that cup！
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REDDY： I'd rather look at a cup of coffee。
HARRY： （Contemptuously） Ah； you！
REDDY： Well； I can't make a meal out of silver ice pitchers； can I？
I've been through three refrigerators tonight； and nothing in any of em but
bottles of MILK！ MILK！
HARRY： Get up； get up； get to work。
REDDY： The folks in this town are the stingiest I ever see。 I won't
visit em aga
