april hopes-第60部分

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itself　on　the　silk　and　lace　of　her　bed；　over　which　she　passed　a　smoothing
hand。　　〃Mr。　Boardman？〃　she　cried；　with　instantly　recovered　amiability。　〃Of
course　she　may！〃




XLVII。

In　Boston　the　rumour　of　Dan's　broken　engagement　was　followed　promptly　by　a
denial　of　it；　both　the　rumour　and　the　denial　were　apparently
authoritative；　but　it　gives　the　effect　of　a　little　greater　sagacity　to
distrust　rumours　of　all　kinds；　and　most　people　went　to　bed；　after　the　teas
and　dinners　and　receptions　and　clubs　at　which　the　fact　was　first　debated；
in　the　self…persuasion　that　it　was　not　so。　　The　next　day　they　found　the
rumour　still　persistent；　the　denial　was　still　in　the　air　too；　but　it
seemed　weaker；　at　the　end　of　the　third　day　it　had　become　a　question　as　to
which　broke　the　engagement；　and　why；　by　the　end　of　a　week　it　was　known
that　Alice　had　broken　the　engagement；　but　the　reason　could　not　be
ascertained。

This　was　not　for　want　of　asking；　more　or　less　direct。　　Pasmer；　of　course；
went　and　came　at　his　club　with　perfect　immunity。　　Men　are　quite　as　curious
as　women；　but　they　set　business　bounds　to　their　curiosity；　and　do　not
dream　of　passing　these。　　With　women　who　have　no　business　of　their　own；　and
can　not　quell　themselves　with　the　reflection　that　this　thing　or　that　is
not　their　affair；　there　is　no　question　so　intimate　that　they　will　not　put
it　to　some　other　woman；　perhaps　it　is　not　so　intimate；　or　perhaps　it　will
not　seem　so；　at　any　rate；　they　chance　it。　　Mrs。　Pasmer　was　given　every
opportunity　to　explain　the　facts　to　the　ladies　whom　she　met；　and　if　she
was　much　afflicted　by　Alice's　behaviour；　she　had　a　measure　of　consolation
in　using　her　skill　to　baffle　the　research　of　her　acquaintance。　　After　each
encounter　of　the　kind　she　had　the　pleasure　of　reflecting　that　absolutely
nothing　more　than　she　meant　had　become　known。　　The　case　never　became　fully
known　through　her；　it　was　the　girl　herself　who　told　it　to　Miss　Cotton　in
one　of　those　moments　of　confidence　which　are　necessary　to　burdened　minds；
and　it　is　doubtful　if　more　than　two　or　three　people　ever　clearly
understood　it；　most　preferred　one　or　other　of　several　mistaken　versions
which　society　finally　settled　down　to。

The　paroxysm　of　self…doubt；　almost　self…accusal；　in　which　Alice　came　to
Miss　Cotton；　moved　the　latter　to　the　deepest　sympathy；　and　left　her　with
misgivings　which　became　an　intolerable　anguish　to　her　conscience。　　The
child　was　so　afflicted　at　what　she　had　done；　not　because　she　wished　to　be
reconciled　with　her　lover；　but　because　she　was　afraid　she　had　been　unjust；
been　cruelly　impatient　and　peremptory　with　him；　she　seemed　to　Miss　Cotton
so　absolutely　alone　and　friendless　with　her　great　trouble；　she　was　so
helpless；　so　hopeless；　she　was　so　anxious　to　do　right；　and　so　fearful　she
had　done　wrong；　that　Miss　Cotton　would　not　have　been　Miss　Cotton　if　she
had　not　taken　her　in　her　arms　and　assured　her　that　in　everything　she　had
done　she　had　been　sublimely　and　nobly　right；　a　lesson　to　all　her　sex　in
such　matters　for　ever。　　She　told　her　that　she　had　always　admired　her；　but
that　now　she　idolised　her；　that　she　felt　like　going　down　on　her　knees　and
simply　worshipping　her。

〃Oh；　don't　say　that；　Miss　Cotton！〃　pleaded　Alice；　pulling　away　from　her
embrace；　but　still　clinging　to　her　with　her　tremulous；　cold　little　hands。
〃I　can't　bear　it！　　I'm　wicked　and　hard　you　don't　know　how　bad　I　am；　and
I'm　afraid　of　being　weak；　of　doing　more　harm　yet。　　Oh；　I　wronged　him
cruelly　in　ever　letting　him　get　engaged　to　me！　　But　now　what　you've　said
will　support　me。　　If　you　think　I've　done　rightIt　must　seem　strange　to
you　that　I　should　come　to　you　with　my　trouble　instead　of　my　mother；　but
I've　been　to　her；　andand　we　think　alike　on　so　few　subjects；　don't　you
know〃

〃Yes；　yes；　I　know；　dear！〃　said　Miss　Cotton；　in　the　tender　folly　of　her
heart；　with　the　satisfaction　which　every　woman　feels　in　being　more
sufficient　to　another　in　trouble　than　her　natural　comforters。

〃And　I　wanted　to　know　how　you　saw　it；　and　now；　if　you　feel　as　you　say；　I
can　never　doubt　myself　again。〃

She　tempested　out　of　Miss　Cotton's　house；　all　tearful　under　the　veil　she
had　pulled　down；　and　as　she　shut　the　door　of　her　coupe；　Miss　Cotton's
heart　jumped　into　her　throat　with　an　impulse　to　run　after　her；　to　recall
her；　to　recant；　to　modify　everything。

From　that　moment　Miss　Cotton's　trouble　began；　and　it　became　a　torment　that
mounted　and　gave　her　no　peace　till　she　imparted　it。　　She　said　to　herself
that　she　should　suffer　to　the　utmost　in　this　matter；　and　if　she　spoke　to
any　one；　it　must　not　be　to　same　one　who　had　agreed　with　her　about　Alice；
but　to　some　hard；　skeptical　nature；　some　one　who　would　look　at　it　from　a
totally　different　point　of　view；　and　would　punish　her　for　her　error；　if
she　had　committed　an　error；　in　supporting　and　consoling　Alice。　　All　the
time　she　was　thinking　of　Mrs。　Brinkley；　Mrs。　Brinkley　had　come　into　her
mind　at　once；　but　it　was　only　after　repeated　struggles　that　she　could　get
the　strength　to　go　to　her。

Mrs。　Brinkley；　sacredly　pledged　to　secrecy；　listened　with　a　sufficiently
dismaying　air　to　the　story　which　Miss　Cotton　told　her　in　the　extremity　of
her　fear　and　doubt。

〃Well；〃　she　said　at　the　end；　〃have　you　written　to　Mr。　Mavering？〃

〃Written　to　Mr。　Mavering？〃　gasped　Miss　Cotton。

〃Yesto　tell　him　she　wants　him　back。〃

〃Wants　him　back？〃　Miss　Cotton　echoed　again。

〃That's　what　she　came　to　you　for。〃

〃Oh；　Mrs。　Brinkley！〃　moaned　Miss　Cotton；　and　she　stared　at　her　in　mute
reproach。

Mrs。　Brinkley　laughed。　　〃I　don't　say　she　knew　that　she　came　for　that；　but
there's　no　doubt　that　she　did；　and　she　went　away　bitterly　disappointed
with　your　consolation　and　support。　　She　didn't　want　anything　of　the　kind
you　may　comfort　yourself　with　that　reflection；　Miss　Cotton。〃

〃Mrs。　Brinkley；〃　said　Miss　Cotton；　with　a　severity　which　ought　to　have
been　extremely　effective　from　so　mild　a　person；　〃do　you　mean　to　accuse
that　poor　child　of　dissimulationof　deceitin　suchaa〃

〃No！〃　shouted　Mrs。　Brinkley；　〃she　didn't　know　what　she　was　doing　any　more
than　you　did；　and　she　went　home　perfectly　heart…broken；　and　I　hope　she'll
stay　so；　for　the　good　of　all　parties　concerned。〃

Miss　Cotton　was　so　bewildered　by　Mrs。　Brinkley's　interpretation　of　Alice's
latent　motives　that　she　let　the　truculent　hostility　of　her　aspiration　pass
unheeded。　　She　looked　helplessly　about；　and　seemed　faint；　so　that　Mrs。
Brinkley；　without　appearing　to　notice　her　state；　interposed　the　question
of　a　little　sherry。　　When　it　had　been　brought；　and　Miss　Cotton　had　sipped
the　glass　that　trembled　in　one　hand　while　her　emotion　shattered　a　biscuit
with　the　other；　Mrs。　Brinkley　went　on：　〃I'm　glad　the　engagement　is　broken；
and　I　hope　it　will　never　be　mended。　　If　what　you　tell　me　of　her　reason　for
breaking　it　is　true〃

〃Oh；　I　feel　so　guilty　for　telling　you！　　I'd　no　right　to！　　Please　never
speak　of　it！〃　pleaded　Miss　Cotton。

〃Then　I　feel　more　than　ever　that　it　was　all　a　mistake；　and　that　to　help　it
on　again　would　be　acrime。〃

Miss　Cotton　gave　a　small　jump　at　the　word；　as　if　she　had　already　committed
the　crime：　she　had　longed　to　do　it。

〃Yes；　I　mean　to　say　that　they　are　better　parted　than　plighted。　　If　matches
are　made　in　heaven；　I　believe　some　of　them　are　unmade　there　too。　　They're
not　adapted　to　each　other；　there's　too　great　a　disparity。〃

〃You　mean；〃　began　Miss　Cotton；　from　her　prepossession　of　Alice's
superiority；　〃that　she's　altogether　his　inferior；　intellectually　and
morally。〃

〃Oh；　I　can't　admit　that！〃　cried　Miss　Cotton；　glad　to　have　Mrs。　Brinkley　go
too　far；　and　plucking　up　courage　from　her　excess。

〃Intellectually　and　morally；〃　repeated　Mrs。　Brinkley；　with　the　mounting
conviction　which　ladies　seem　to　get　from　mere　persistence。　　〃I　saw　that
girl　at　Campobello；　I　watched　her。〃

〃I　never　felt　that　you　did　her　justice！〃　cried　Miss　Cotton；　with　the
valour　of　a　hen…sparrow。　　〃There　was　an　antipathy。〃

〃There　certainly　wasn't　a　sympathy；　I'm　happy　to　say；〃　retorted　Mrs。
Brinkley。　　〃I　know　her；　and　I　know　her　family；　root　and　branch。　　The
Pasmers　are　the　dullest　and　most　selfish　people　in　the　world。〃

〃Oh；　I　don't　think　that's　her　character；〃　said　Miss　Cotton；　ruffling　her
feathers　defensively。

〃Neither　do　I。　　She　has　no　fixed　character。　　No　girl　has。　　Nobody　has。　　We
all　have　twenty　different　charactersmore　characters　than　gownsand　we
put　them　on　and　take　them　off　just　as　often　for　different　occasions。　　I
know　you　think　each　person　is　permanently　this　or　that；　but　my　experience
is　that　half　the　time　they're　the　other　thing。〃

〃Then　why；〃　said　Miss　Cotton；　winking　hard；　as　some　weak　people　do　when
they　thick　they　are　making　a　point；　〃do　you　say　that　Alice　is　dull　and
selfish？〃

〃I　don'tnot　always；　or　not　simply　so。　　That's　the　character　of　the
Pasmer　blood；　but　it's　crossed　with　twenty　different　currents　in　her；　and
from　some　body　that　the　Pasmer　dulness　and　selfishness　must　have　driven
mad　she　got　a　crazy　streak　of　piety；　and　that's　got　mixed　up　in　her　again
with　a　nonsensical　ideal　of　duty；　and　everything　she　does　she　not　only
thinks　is　right；　but　she　thinks　it's　religious；　and　she　thinks　it's
unselfish。〃

〃If　you'd　seen　her；　if　you'd　heard　her；　this　morning；〃