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the new machiavelli-第54部分

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motor bicycle; and presently; on the Albert Embankment; every seat 

has its one or two outcasts huddled together and slumbering。



〃These things come; these things go;〃 a whispering voice urged upon 

me; 〃as once those vast unmeaning Saurians whose bones encumber 

museums came and went rejoicing noisily in fruitless lives。〃 。 。 。



Fruitless lives!was that the truth of it all? 。 。 。



Later I stood within sight of the Houses of Parliament in front of 

the colonnades of St Thomas's Hospital。  I leant on the parapet 

close by a lamp…stand of twisted dolphinsand I prayed!



I remember the swirl of the tide upon the water; and how a string of 

barges presently came swinging and bumping round as high…water 

turned to ebb。  That sudden change of position and my brief 

perplexity at it; sticks like a paper pin through the substance of 

my thoughts。  It was then I was moved to prayer。  I prayed that 

night that life might not be in vain; that in particular I might not 

live in vain。  I prayed for strength and faith; that the monstrous 

blundering forces in life might not overwhelm me; might not beat me 

back to futility and a meaningless acquiescence in existent things。  

I knew myself for the weakling I was; I knew that nevertheless it 

was set for me to make such order as I could out of these disorders; 

and my task cowed me; gave me at the thought of it a sense of 

yielding feebleness。



〃Break me; O God;〃 I prayed at last; 〃disgrace me; torment me; 

destroy me as you will; but save me from self…complacency and little 

interests and little successes and the life that passes like the 

shadow of a dream。〃







BOOK THE THIRD



THE HEART OF POLITICS







CHAPTER THE FIRST



THE RIDDLE FOR THE STATESMAN







1





I have been planning and replanning; writing and rewriting; this 

next portion of my book for many days。  I perceive I must leave it 

raw edged and ill joined。  I have learnt something of the 

impossibility of History。  For all I have had to tell is the story 

of one man's convictions and aims and how they reacted upon his 

life; and I find it too subtle and involved and intricate for the 

doing。  I find it taxes all my powers to convey even the main forms 

and forces in that development。  It is like looking through moving 

media of changing hue and variable refraction at something vitally 

unstable。  Broad theories and generalisations are mingled with 

personal influences; with prevalent prejudices; and not only 

coloured but altered by phases of hopefulness and moods of 

depression。  The web is made up of the most diverse elements; beyond 

treatment multitudinous。 。 。 。  For a week or so I desisted 

altogether; and walked over the mountains and returned to sit 

through the warm soft mornings among the shaded rocks above this 

little perched…up house of ours; discussing my difficulties with 

Isabel and I think on the whole complicating them further in the 

effort to simplify them to manageable and stateable elements。



Let me; nevertheless; attempt a rough preliminary analysis of this 

confused process。  A main strand is quite easily traceable。  This 

main strand is the story of my obvious life; my life as it must have 

looked to most of my acquaintances。  It presents you with a young 

couple; bright; hopeful; and energetic; starting out under Altiora's 

auspices to make a career。  You figure us well dressed and active; 

running about in motor…cars; visiting in great people's houses; 

dining amidst brilliant companies; going to the theatre; meeting in 

the lobby。  Margaret wore hundreds of beautiful dresses。  We must 

have had an air of succeeding meritoriously during that time。



We did very continually and faithfully serve our joint career。  I 

thought about it a great deal; and did and refrained from doing ten 

thousand things for the sake of it。  I kept up a solicitude for it; 

as it were by inertia; long after things had happened and changes 

occurred in me that rendered its completion impossible。  Under 

certain very artless pretences; we wanted steadfastly to make a 

handsome position in the world; achieve respect; SUCCEED。  Enormous 

unseen changes had been in progress for years in my mind and the 

realities of my life; before our general circle could have had any 

inkling of their existence; or suspected the appearances of our 

life。  Then suddenly our proceedings began to be deflected; our 

outward unanimity visibly strained and marred by the insurgence of 

these so long…hidden developments。



That career had its own hidden side; of course; but when I write of 

these unseen factors I do not mean that but something altogether 

broader。  I do not mean the everyday pettinesses which gave the 

cynical observer scope and told of a narrower; baser aspect of the 

fair but limited ambitions of my ostensible self。  This 〃sub…

careerist〃 element noted little things that affected the career; 

made me suspicious of the rivalry of so…and…so; propitiatory to so…

and…so; whom; as a matter of fact; I didn't respect or feel in the 

least sympathetic towards; guarded with that man; who for all his 

charm and interest wasn't helpful; and a little touchy at the 

appearance of neglect from that。  No; I mean something greater and 

not something smaller when I write of a hidden life。



In the ostensible self who glowed under the approbation of Altiora 

Bailey; and was envied and discussed; praised and depreciated; in 

the House and in smoking…room gossip; you really have as much of a 

man as usually figures in a novel or an obituary notice。  But I am 

tremendously impressed now in the retrospect by the realisation of 

how little that frontage represented me; and just how little such 

frontages do represent the complexities of the intelligent 

contemporary。  Behind it; yet struggling to disorganise and alter 

it; altogether; was a far more essential reality; a self less 

personal; less individualised; and broader in its references。  Its 

aims were never simply to get on; it had an altogether different 

system of demands and satisfactions。  It was critical; curious; more 

than a little unfeelingand relentlessly illuminating。



It is just the existence and development of this more generalised 

self…behind…the…frontage that is making modern life so much more 

subtle and intricate to render; and so much more hopeful in its 

relations to the perplexities of the universe。  I see this mental 

and spiritual hinterland vary enormously in the people about me; 

from a type which seems to keep; as people say; all its goods in the 

window; to others who; like myself; come to regard the ostensible 

existence more and more as a mere experimental feeder and agent for 

that greater personality behind。  And this back…self has its history 

of phases; its crises and happy accidents and irrevocable 

conclusions; more or less distinct from the adventures and 

achievements of the ostensible self。  It meets persons and phrases; 

it assimilates the spirit of a book; it is startled into new 

realisations by some accident that seems altogether irrelevant to 

the general tenor of one's life。  Its increasing independence of the 

ostensible career makes it the organ of corrective criticism; it 

accumulates disturbing energy。  Then it breaks our overt promises 

and repudiates our pledges; coming down at last like an overbearing 

mentor upon the small engagements of the pupil。



In the life of the individual it takes the role that the growth of 

philosophy; science; and creative literature may play in the 

development of mankind。







2





It is curious to recall how Britten helped shatter that obvious; 

lucidly explicable presentation of myself upon which I had embarked 

with Margaret。  He returned to revive a memory of adolescent dreams 

and a habit of adolescent frankness; he reached through my shallow 

frontage as no one else seemed capable of doing; and dragged that 

back…self into relation with it。



I remember very distinctly a dinner and a subsequent walk with him 

which presents itself now as altogether typical of the quality of 

his influence。



I had come upon him one day while lunching with Somers and Sutton at 

the Playwrights' Club; and had asked him to dinner on the spur of 

the moment。  He was oddly the same curly…headed; red…faced 

ventriloquist; and oddly different; rather seedy as well as untidy; 

and at first a little inclined to make comparisons with my sleek 

successfulness。  But that disposition presently evaporated; and his 

talk was good and fresh and provocative。  And something that had 

long been straining at its checks in my mind flapped over; and he 

and I found ourselves of one accord。



Altiora wasn't at this dinner。  When she came matters were apt to 

become confusedly strenuous。  There was always a slight and 

ineffectual struggle at the end on the part of Margaret

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