a personal record-第12部分
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
ever had a single glimpse of the sea in our lives。 That was to
come by and by for both of us in Venice； from the outer shore of
Lido。 Meantime he had taken his mission to heart so well that I
began to feel crushed before we reached Zurich。 He argued in
railway trains； in lake steamboats； he had argued away for me the
obligatory sunrise on the Righi； by Jove！ Of his devotion to his
unworthy pupil there can be no doubt。 He had proved it already
by two years of unremitting and arduous care。 I could not hate
him。 But he had been crushing me slowly； and when he started to
argue on the top of the Furca Pass he was perhaps nearer a
success than either he or I imagined。 I listened to him in
despairing silence； feeling that ghostly； unrealized； and desired
sea of my dreams escape from the unnerved grip of my will。
The enthusiastic old Englishman had passedand the argument went
on。 What reward could I expect from such a life at the end of my
years； either in ambition； honour； or conscience？ An
unanswerable question。 But I felt no longer crushed。 Then our
eyes met and a genuine emotion was visible in his as well as in
mine。 The end came all at once。 He picked up the knapsack
suddenly and got onto his feet。
〃You are an incorrigible； hopeless Don Quixote。 That's what you
are。〃
I was surprised。 I was only fifteen and did not know what he
meant exactly。 But I felt vaguely flattered at the name of the
immortal knight turning up in connection with my own folly； as
some people would call it to my face。 Alas！ I don't think there
was anything to be proud of。 Mine was not the stuff of
protectors of forlorn damsels； the redressers of this world's
wrong are made of； and my tutor was the man to know that best。
Therein； in his indignation； he was superior to the barber and
the priest when he flung at me an honoured name like a reproach。
I walked behind him for full five minutes； then without looking
back he stopped。 The shadows of distant peaks were lengthening
over the Furca Pass。 When I came up to him he turned to me and
in full view of the Finster Aarhorn； with his band of giant
brothers rearing their monstrous heads against a brilliant sky；
put his hand on my shoulder affectionately。
〃Well！ That's enough。 We will have no more of it。〃
And indeed there was no more question of my mysterious vocation
between us。 There was to be no more question of it at all； no
where or with any one。 We began the descent of the Furca Pass
conversing merrily。
Eleven years later； month for month； I stood on Tower Hill on the
steps of the St。 Katherine's Dockhouse； a master in the British
Merchant Service。 But the man who put his hand on my shoulder at
the top of the Furca Pass was no longer living。
That very year of our travels he took his degree of the
Philosophical Facultyand only then his true vocation declared
itself。 Obedient to the call； he entered at once upon the
four…year course of the Medical Schools。 A day came when； on the
deck of a ship moored in Calcutta； I opened a letter telling me
of the end of an enviable existence。 He had made for himself a
practice in some obscure little town of Austrian Galicia。 And
the letter went on to tell me how all the bereaved poor of the
district； Christians and Jews alike； had mobbed the good doctor's
coffin with sobs and lamentations at the very gate of the
cemetery。
How short his years and how clear his vision！ What greater
reward in ambition； honour； and conscience could he have hoped to
win for himself when； on the top of the Furca Pass； he bade me
look well to the end of my opening life？
III
The devouring in a dismal forest of a luckless Lithuanian dog by
my granduncle Nicholas B。 in company of two other military and
famished scarecrows； symbolized； to my childish imagination； the
whole horror of the retreat from Moscow； and the immorality of a
conqueror's ambition。 An extreme distaste for that objectionable
episode has tinged the views I hold as to the character and
achievements of Napoleon the Great。 I need not say that these
are unfavourable。 It was morally reprehensible for that great
captain to induce a simple…minded Polish gentleman to eat dog by
raising in his breast a false hope of national independence。 It
has been the fate of that credulous nation to starve for upward
of a hundred years on a diet of false hopes andwelldog。 It
is； when one thinks of it； a singularly poisonous regimen。 Some
pride in the national constitution which has survived a long
course of such dishes is really excusable。
But enough of generalizing。 Returning to particulars； Mr。
Nicholas B。 confided to his sister…in…law （my grandmother） in his
misanthropically laconic manner that this supper in the woods had
been nearly 〃the death of him。〃 This is not surprising。 What
surprises me is that the story was ever heard of； for granduncle
Nicholas differed in this from the generality of military men of
Napoleon's time （and perhaps of all time） that he did not like to
talk of his campaigns； which began at Friedland and ended some
where in the neighbourhood of Bar…le…Duc。 His admiration of the
great Emperor was unreserved in everything but expression。 Like
the religion of earnest men； it was too profound a sentiment to
be displayed before a world of little faith。 Apart from that he
seemed as completely devoid of military anecdotes as though he
had hardly ever seen a soldier in his life。 Proud of his
decorations earned before he was twenty…five； he refused to wear
the ribbons at the buttonhole in the manner practised to this day
in Europe and even was unwilling to display the insignia on
festive occasions； as though he wished to conceal them in the
fear of appearing boastful。
〃It is enough that I have them；〃 he used to mutter。 In the
course of thirty years they were seen on his breast only
twiceat an auspicious marriage in the family and at the funeral
of an old friend。 That the wedding which was thus honoured was
not the wedding of my mother I learned only late in life； too
late to bear a grudge against Mr。 Nicholas B。； who made amends at
my birth by a long letter of congratulation containing the
following prophecy： 〃He will see better times。〃 Even in his
embittered heart there lived a hope。 But he was not a true
prophet。
He was a man of strange contradictions。 Living for many years in
his brother's house； the home of many children； a house full of
life； of animation； noisy with a constant coming and going of
many guests； he kept his habits of solitude and silence。
Considered as obstinately secretive in all his purposes； he was
in reality the victim of a most painful irresolution in all
matters of civil life。 Under his taciturn； phlegmatic behaviour
was hidden a faculty of short…lived passionate anger。 I suspect
he had no talent for narrative； but it seemed to afford him
sombre satisfaction to declare that he was the last man to ride
over the bridge of the river Elster after the battle of Leipsic。
Lest some construction favourable to his valour should be put on
the fact he condescended to explain how it came to pass。 It
seems that shortly after the retreat began he was sent back to
the town where some divisions of the French army （and among them
the Polish corps of Prince Joseph Poniatowski）； jammed hopelessly
in the streets； were being simply exterminated by the troops of
the Allied Powers。 When asked what it was like in there； Mr。
Nicholas B。 muttered only the word 〃Shambles。〃 Having delivered
his message to the Prince he hastened away at once to render an
account of his mission to the superior who had sent him。 By that
time the advance of the enemy had enveloped the town； and he was
shot at from houses and chased all the way to the river…bank by a
disorderly mob of Austrian Dragoons and Prussian Hussars。 The
bridge had been mined early in the morning； and his opinion was
that the sight of the horsemen converging from many sides in the
pursuit of his person alarmed the officer in command of the
sappers and caused the premature firing of the charges。 He had
not gone more than two hundred yards on the other side when he
heard the sound of the fatal explosions。 Mr。 Nicholas B。
concluded his bald narrative with the word 〃Imbecile；〃 uttered
