a personal record-第20部分

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Almayer　gathered　in　the　rope　intelligently　enough；　but　when　the



pony's　hoofs　touched　the　wharf　he　gave　way　all　at　once　to　a　most



foolish　optimism。　　Without　pausing；　without　thinking；　almost



without　looking；　he　disengaged　the　hook　suddenly　from　the　sling；



and　the　cargo…chain；　after　hitting　the　pony's　quarters；　swung



back　against　the　ship's　side　with　a　noisy；　rattling　slap。　　I



suppose　I　must　have　blinked。　　I　know　I　missed　something；　because



the　next　thing　I　saw　was　Almayer　lying　flat　on　his　back　on　the



jetty。　　He　was　alone。







Astonishment　deprived　me　of　speech　long　enough　to　give　Almayer



time　to　pick　himself　up　in　a　leisurely　and　painful　manner。　　The



kalashes　lining　the　rail　all　had　their　mouths　open。　　The　mist



flew　in　the　light　breeze；　and　it　had　come　over　quite　thick　enough



to　hide　the　shore　completely。







〃How　on　earth　did　you　manage　to　let　him　get　away？〃　I　asked；



scandalized。







Almayer　looked　into　the　smarting　palm　of　his　right　hand；　but　did



not　answer　my　inquiry。







〃Where　do　you　think　he　will　get　to？〃　I　cried。　　〃Are　there　any



fences　anywhere　in　this　fog？　　Can　he　bolt　into　the　forest？　



What's　to　be　done　now？〃







Almayer　shrugged　his　shoulders。







〃Some　of　my　men　are　sure　to　be　about。　　They　will　get　hold　of　him



sooner　or　later。〃







〃Sooner　or　later！　　That's　all　very　fine；　but　what　about　my　canvas



sling？he's　carried　it　off。　　I　want　it　now；　at　once；　to　land　two



Celebes　cows。〃







Since　Dongola　we　had　on　board　a　pair　of　the　pretty　little　island



cattle　in　addition　to　the　pony。　　Tied　up　on　the　other　side　of　the



fore…deck　they　had　been　whisking　their　tails　into　the　other　door



of　the　galley。　　These　cows　were　not　for　Almayer；　however；　they



were　invoiced　to　Abdullah　bin　Selim；　his　enemy。　　Almayer's



disregard　of　my　requirements　was　complete。







〃If　I　were　you　I　would　try　to　find　out　where　he's　gone；〃　I



insisted。　　〃Hadn't　you　better　call　your　men　together　or



something？　　He　will　throw　himself　down　and　cut　his　knees。　He　may



even　break　a　leg；　you　know。〃







But　Almayer；　plunged　in　abstracted　thought；　did　not　seem　to　want



that　pony　any　more。　　Amazed　at　this　sudden　indifference；　I　turned



all　hands　out　on　shore　to　hunt　for　him　on　my　own　account；　or；　at



any　rate；　to　hunt　for　the　canvas　sling　which　he　had　round　his



body。　　The　whole　crew　of　the　steamer；　with　the　exception　of



firemen　and　engineers；　rushed　up　the　jetty；　past　the　thoughtful



Almayer；　and　vanished　from　my　sight。　　The　white　fog　swallowed



them　up；　and　again　there　was　a　deep　silence　that　seemed　to　extend



for　miles　up　and　down　the　stream。　　Still　taciturn；　Almayer



started　to　climb　on　board；　and　I　went　down　from　the　bridge　to



meet　him　on　the　after…deck。







〃Would　you　mind　telling　the　captain　that　I　want　to　see　him　very



particularly？〃　he　asked　me；　in　a　low　tone；　letting　his　eyes　stray



all　over　the　place。







〃Very　well。　　I　will　go　and　see。〃







With　the　door　of　his　cabin　wide　open；　Captain　C；　just　back



from　the　bath…room；　big　and　broad…chested；　was　brushing　his



thick；　damp；　iron…gray　hair　with　two　large　brushes。







〃Mr。　Almayer　told　me　he　wanted　to　see　you　very　particularly；



sir。〃







Saying　these　words；　I　smiled。　　I　don't　know　why　I　smiled；　except



that　it　seemed　absolutely　impossible　to　mention　Almayer's　name



without　a　smile　of　a　sort。　　It　had　not　to　be　necessarily　a



mirthful　smile。　　Turning　his　head　toward　me；　Captain　C



smiled；　too；　rather　joylessly。







〃The　pony　got　away　from　himeh？〃







〃Yes；　sir。　　He　did。〃







〃Where　is　he？〃







〃Goodness　only　knows。〃







〃No。　　I　mean　Almayer。　　Let　him　come　along。〃







The　captain's　stateroom　opening　straight　on　deck　under　the



bridge；　I　had　only　to　beckon　from　the　doorway　to　Almayer；　who　had



remained　aft；　with　downcast　eyes；　on　the　very　spot　where　I　had



left　him。　　He　strolled　up　moodily；　shook　hands；　and　at　once　asked



permission　to　shut　the　cabin　door。







〃I　have　a　pretty　story　to　tell　you；〃　were　the　last　words　I　heard。







The　bitterness　of　tone　was　remarkable。







I　went　away　from　the　door；　of　course。　　For　the　moment　I　had　no



crew　on　board；　only　the　Chinaman　carpenter；　with　a　canvas　bag



hung　round　his　neck　and　a　hammer　in　his　hand；　roamed　about　the



empty　decks；　knocking　out　the　wedges　of　the　hatches　and　dropping



them　into　the　bag　conscientiously。　　Having　nothing　to　do　I　joined



our　two　engineers　at　the　door　of　the　engine…room。　　It　was　near



breakfast…time。







〃He's　turned　up　early；　hasn't　he？〃　commented　the　second　engineer；



and　smiled　indifferently。　　He　was　an　abstemious　man；　with　a　good



digestion　and　a　placid；　reasonable　view　of　life　even　when　hungry。







〃Yes；〃　I　said。　　〃Shut　up　with　the　old　man。　　Some　very　particular



business。〃







〃He　will　spin　him　a　damned　endless　yarn；〃　observed　the　chief



engineer。







He　smiled　rather　sourly。　　He　was　dyspeptic；　and　suffered　from



gnawing　hunger　in　the　morning。　　The　second　smiled　broadly；　a



smile　that　made　two　vertical　folds　on　his　shaven　cheeks。　　And　I



smiled；　too；　but　I　was　not　exactly　amused。　　In　that　man；　whose



name　apparently　could　not　be　uttered　anywhere　in　the　Malay



Archipelago　without　a　smile；　there　was　nothing　amusing　whatever。　



That　morning　he　breakfasted　with　us　silently；　looking　mostly　into



his　cup。　　I　informed　him　that　my　men　came　upon　his　pony　capering



in　the　fog　on　the　very　brink　of　the　eight…foot…deep　well　in　which



he　kept　his　store　of　guttah。　　The　cover　was　off；　with　no　one　near



by；　and　the　whole　of　my　crew　just　missed　going　heels　over　head



into　that　beastly　hole。　　Jurumudi　Itam；　our　best　quartermaster；



deft　at　fine　needlework；　he　who　mended　the　ship's　flags　and　sewed



buttons　on　our　coats；　was　disabled　by　a　kick　on　the　shoulder。







Both　remorse　and　gratitude　seemed　foreign　to　Almayer's　character。







He　mumbled：







〃Do　you　mean　that　pirate　fellow？〃







〃What　pirate　fellow？　　The　man　has　been　in　the　ship　eleven　years；〃



I　said；　indignantly。







〃It's　his　looks；〃　Almayer　muttered；　for　all　apology。







The　sun　had　eaten　up　the　fog。　　From　where　we　sat　under　the



after…awning　we　could　see　in　the　distance　the　pony　tied　up；　in



front　of　Almayer's　house；　to　a　post　of　the　veranda。　　We　were



silent　for　a　long　time。　　All　at　once　Almayer；　alluding　evidently



to　the　subject　of　his　conversation　in　the　captain's　cabin；



exclaimed　anxiously　across　the　table：







〃I　really　don't　know　what　I　can　do　now！〃







Captain　C　only　raised　his　eyebrows　at　him；　and　got　up　from



his　chair。　　We　dispersed　to　our　duties；　but　Almayer；　half　dressed



as　he　was　in　his　cretonne　pajamas　and　the　thin　cotton　singlet；



remained　on　board；　lingering　near　the　gangway；　as　though　he　could



not　make　up　his　mind　whether　to　go　home　or　stay　with　us　for　good。







Our　Chinamen　boys　gave　him　side　glances　as　they　went　to　and　fro；



and　Ah　Sing；　our　chief　steward；　the　handsomest　and　most



sympathetic　of　Chinamen；　catching　my　eye；　nodded　knowingly　at　his



burly　back。　　In　the　course　of　the　morning　I　approached　him　for　a



moment。







〃Well；　Mr。　Almayer；〃　I　addressed　him；　easily；　〃you　haven't



started　on　your　letters　yet。〃







We　had　brought　him　his　mail；　and　he　had　held　the　bundle　in　his



hand　ever　since　we　got　up　from　breakfast。　　He　glanced　at　it　when



I　spoke；　and　for　a　moment　it　looked　as　if　he　were　on　the　point　of



opening　his　fingers　and　letting　the　whole　lot　fall　overboard。　　I



believe　he　was　tempted　to　do　so。　　I　shall　never　forget　that　man



afraid　of　his　letters。







〃Have　you　been　long　out　from　Europe？〃　he　asked　me。







〃Not　very。　　Not　quite　eight　months；〃　I　told　him。　　〃I　left　a　ship



in　Samarang　with　a　hurt　back；　and　have　been　in　the　hospital　in



Singapore　some　weeks。〃







He　sighed。







〃Trade　is　very　bad　here。〃







〃Indeed！〃







〃Hopeless！　。　。　。　　See　these　geese？〃







With　the　hand　holding　the　letters　he　pointed　out　to　me　what



resembled　a　patch　of　snow　creeping　and　swaying　across　the　distant



part　of　his　compound。　　It　disappeared　behind　some　bushes。







〃The　only　geese　on　the　East　Coast；〃　Almayer　informed　me；　in　a



perfunctory　mutter　without　a　spark　of　faith；　hope；　or　pride。



Thereupon；　with　the　same　absence　of　any　sort　of　sustaining



spirit；　he　declared　his　intention　to　select　a　fat　bird　and　send



him　on　board　for　us　not　later　than　next　day。







I　had　hea